Good bad habits

Humans have a basic need for safety and security. Scientists lay this out clearly in neuroscience and biology.  

We also have a deep desire to be happy.  

As humans in need of safety and security with a desire for happiness, why, then, do we do such dumb stuff that will obviously not lead to those outcomes? Why does it seem innate and inevitable that we will do things that preclude these needs... i.e. screw up our lives? 

Let’s take a moment to be kind and give ourselves the benefit of the doubt for just a second. 

What if those bad habits we have are actually just our unconscious way of getting what we need? What if that overeating habit was the way you learned to self soothe so you could feel safe when you were young? What if that habit of giving your body away is just how you learned to get love? 

Are these things supportive of your long term happiness, safety, and security? Probably not. Were they the best way you could figure out to get what you need? Probably so. 

So could we all just take a moment to relax our self judgement over these old bad habits? Could we take a beat and offer some love to ourselves? We’re all just doing the best we can with a slew of tough situations— often downright shitty circumstances— in our past.  

We can learn and grow and do better. But up til now we were doing what we could to meet our own needs. How awesome that we love ourselves enough, underneath it all, to try our very best with what we were given.  

Laura Olsen